MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL :)

Chat Register 2

me: lol love ur gtalk status msg

!!!

lol
[DeeSee's Gtalk Status:
Slowly Robbing Kalkals when no one is Looking !]

Dennis: its true

me: hahahahahahaha

Dennis: the bloddy thing is hidden !

can u believe it ! HIDDEN

me: i can picture u doin it also

lool

rofl

Dennis: cause there is a fear that it will get over before christmas

me: with u around i'm not surprised at all!!!

wow what a laugh early morning

Dennis: yeah, and i think my mum is also not surprised

hence the hiding

me: :D

B-)

Dennis: but if she wanted to hide, atleast she should have put some more thought into the hiding palce

it was sooooo easy to find.

me: lol why she hid it behind the pickles? lol

Dennis: arrey... hid it in the drawer where all the biscuits and all are kept.

me: wait on the top most shelf and totally forgot u 7 feet 9 inches tall

Dennis: She should have realised that when i didnt see the sweets, i would go to eat biscuits...

me: lol

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

duuude

Dennis: and so i did... and when i went for biscuits... VOILA.....

me: hahahahahaah

oooof

bas

cant laugh

anymore man

even i want kalkals

Dennis: hahaha

when was rohans wedding btw ?

me: think shaun is not getting his share this year

oh 27th

Dennis: oh ok... think steve's is next day

me: u be coming?

ha ya it is

damn everyone marrying man

is something wrong with them or us?

Dennis: today is steve's Paani, wish i could go, but my next door neighbours wedding today. so gotta go there

something is wrong with us i'm thinking. Earlier i thought something is wrong with them

me: :)

yeah man

Dennis: but all of them cant be wrong. a more possible explanation is 2 of us are wrong

me: agree so weird

we becoming middle aged

and u have flabs too!!!

Dennis: yes.

sad sad.

me: :D

lol

duude why have u stopped blogging?

Dennis: arrey i've written more than u

i wrote on my last trip down

me: oh yeah true B-)

Dennis: offshore everything is blocked

me: i have stuff that i wanna write abt but too lazy man

blocked!!!

why?!

Dennis: yesterday was adrians wedding

u remember adrian.. Logs OC before me

me: adrian!!!

yeah yeah

hahaha

duude this is an epidemic!!!

Dennis: yes it is

this is far more lethal than H1N1 or any of that crap. Atleast that, u wear a mask and ur realtively safe

me: and the bloddy rubber has a 3% failure percentage
!!!!

Dennis: one of my pals announced engagement a few months ago. Within a week.... almost like it was a race, another pal announced marriage date only !

me: hahahaahahahahahahahaah

lol

hahaha

Dennis: its a competition

me: hahahaha

fuck dude i think i'm gonna put this conversation on the blog!!!

Dennis: i once met them both and went for a drink.... and i was mindfucked. thruout the drinking session they were discussing what Photographer they are using and fuckin COlor theme and fuckin how lavender is sooo cool !

Bhenchodh

me: lavendar and mauve...dont exist man!!!

its pink and light purple!!!

Dennis: yes yes Mr arty farty fucker. it exists for us Aam Janta

me: duude i am not being arty...lavendar?!?!?

lol

Dennis: next ull tell me the photoshop color code from the palette......#221453

me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

Dennis: ahahahhaha

me: lol

ohhh fuckk duude i've laughed too much...i'm gonna cry for sure today...ppl in ofc have joined in and started giggling looking at me

Dennis: good men

but i heard laughing makes u fat

so take care of ur abs

me: what shit lol

hahaha

the six pack flabs as u once said

Dennis: yeah, there is a saying " laugh laugh and become fat... "

me: hahahahaahahah

what arbitrary shit dude

Dennis: arrey

wait

lemme google

me: sounds like a 'confucius says...laugh laugh and become fat!!!'

lol

rofl

Dennis: http://www.englishbaby.com/forum/LifeTalk/thread/254929

me: hahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahah

lol

rofl

Dennis: i told u !

me: hoahahaohahahaaoaoh

Dennis: ahahahaaa

me: and check the comments they are hilarious

amany7

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SealedI don't wanna grow fat

MATRIX_07

So don't get laugh Laughing

Dennis: aaaaaaaaaaahahhaa

me: hahahaahahahahahahaahahaha

duude this one is classic

desi called devindER pal

says

'Dear NabilaSh,

Hi again,

By laughing we become healthier but not faty.

When we laugh deeply,

the whole carbondioxide of our lungs is ehauled & is replaced with oxygen, our whole body gets rejuvinated.

Another phenomina happens that we come in 'this moment'. means thinkingless & it is great celebration in itself.

IT IS A GREAT VIRTUE.'

Dennis: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaahahaa

me: hahahahaha

ohhh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

Dennis: fuckin indian scientist. got all scientific and all

Carbon dioxide !!!

wtf !

carbio dioxide is exhauled !!!!

:D

ROFL ROFL

Chat Register 3

shauncoutinho: 2 GB is the single player version...

we want multiplayer!

me: yaaa

shauncoutinho: so we can KHILL u

kheeeeel uuuu

me: so we can killl alllllllllllllllllll

shauncoutinho: and kill some xerox machines also

me: eh why i like xerox machines

i'll settle for some typewriters tho

shauncoutinho: so the keys can fly out and spell something

me: and, i say, let them spell DHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

oh but dont they have only one 'E'

shauncoutinho: there arent' so many eee

lol

me: ah knew there was a problem

shauncoutinho: no problem, we'll blow up a bunch of typewriters!

me: ah, Jeeves, u scinitillate today, what a brainwave...for brains you up there among the best

shauncoutinho: thank u sir

(i kno)

muahahah

or respectful cough?

me: like the distant bleeting of a diffident sheep on a mountain top!

shauncoutinho: baaaaah

me: but now to follow one of ur sayings, u put it so well i say, if 'twere done, it twere well done if it 'twere don quickly

there is a tide in the affairs of men, which when taken at the flood leads to good fortune

shauncoutinho: our fortune being the **** book?

me: lets serve a noll prosequi to work and test intra office network

me: so are we testing LAN

shauncoutinho: are we?

me: i think we should keep a regular tab

shauncoutinho: we can transfer files too and fro

me: ah...rem acu tetigisti...u've put your finger on the nub of the problem again

lets start

shauncoutinho: ok you copy files to the **** folder on my comp

and then i'll copy them back

me: eh?

shauncoutinho: lemony plan eh?

me: there seems to be a miscommunication somewhere

shauncoutinho: networks not workin as it should?

me: i think we need to choose teams

shauncoutinho: im on ur side, we'll fight isaax together

isaax has a better ring to it

than *****

me: yes now we've hit the nail on the head

shauncoutinho: nail to the heart

me: hmmm...maybe we petition his parents if he has any

and ask him to do the required changes to their product file

shauncoutinho: they probably want to be rid of him too

we'll be doin them a favour

me: ah...what better way to do that than rename him isaax and refuse to recognise him after

shauncoutinho: like the son they always had but wish they had a daughter in stead

yes all legal documentation shall be rendered invalid after that

me: only this daughter has a fungal growth on the upper lip

shauncoutinho: and sparse growth on the cheeks

me: i'm telling u he might have been interchanged as a kid by a wicked gypsy for a duck and he's been like that ever since

me: dudde **** is THIRTY bloody Five GBeee

shauncoutinho: thirty five ebbegeebees worth 3 rupees each

me: ah thats only 105 rupees shaun

shauncoutinho: worth rs 3 per MB

me: ah more like it...

shauncoutinho: lets tell him that

we're charging you ONLY rs 3 per MB

Chat Register 1

shauncoutinho: the eagle is in the cage

me: eh?what what what what what

shauncoutinho: the rabbit is in thebag

the kangaroo is in the pouch

me: the what is in the what? are you alright my dear friend...you seem to be weirdly drifting back to your animal roots.

I say STOP! Stick around, life's bound to get better if not worse. Anyway why go thru life looking like an overdone beef chop...take it with a pinch of salt i say...one is not get out of it alive anyway...

shauncoutinho: fine, if you want me to spell it out for you (numbskull) the CD is in the TRAYme: ah...you weirdly interest me...is that the CD i might or might not have given you 5 min ago...i am not confessign to anything until i get more information before you accuse my dear lemon of being numb

Hydrophobics Poem - The waters chased him as he fled, by Emily Dickinson (* http://famouspoetsandpoems.com)

The waters chased him as he fled,
Not daring look behind --
A billow whispered in his Ear,
"Come home with me, my friend --
My parlor is of shriven glass,
My pantry has a fish
For every palate in the Year" --
To this revolting bliss
The object floating at his side
Made no distinct reply

-Emily Dickinson (courtesy www.famouspoetsandpoems.com)

Bombay: Rickshaws

Whoa...back again. I remember writing once before that its been a long time since I blogged. I'll say it once again. This time though the absence has been more than a year long (thankfully for the audiences. I can faintly hear the sighs and 'oh god! he is back' rising from the back of the hall, especially those dimly lit parts where one cant make out who is sitting next to you but one can definitely make out! AHEM now to get back to what I was saying...). I had forgotten how much fun blogging can be. Or for that matter how very cathartic, if cathartic is the word I am looking for. But the point is that if one is blogging, one definitely better have something to say. One cannot just blabber away, hit keys at random and generally create a nuisance.

So let me tell you about one old creed of Bombayites. They are normally called Rickshaw-wallas, but sometimes also 'bhaiyas' and other more opprobrious names.They tend to come in as many variations as there are rickshaws on our super highways. Each three wheeled contraption is supplied by a unique driver. Their uniqueness manifests in different forms. Its easier on the customer but dangerous for the traffic when the manifestation is physical in respect to their vehicles. Mostly this is seen at the back, just above the flimsy crash bumper (which actually is a strip of metal held on to the rick by a liberal application of glue). They are normally awesome vector arts of hindi film actors or actresses. Andy Warhol would definitely get an inferiority complex. This art, if I might call it that, reached the zenith, when one had a complete vector art set of all the characters of Sholay pasted all over the rick. Gabbar Singh would have been proud!

Besides this visual exuberance, one has to keep in mind, what Jeeves would call 'the psychology of the individual'. And you are bound to come across psychotic behaviour before long. Ranging from drunk ramblings to rickshaw seat shrinks to meter-pinging philosophers to road-rash romeos to...well I don't think there is a need to make a production number of it. I am confident that you get what is called the gist. P.G.Wodehouse would have found rickshaws to be an inexhaustible source of humour.

Rickshaws, like all historic inventions, have given rise to situations which would not have existed but for them. Getting a rickshaw to take you to your destination is an art one learns, or rather has to learn in Bombay. The following few true life instances should explain:

engaging of the mighty rickshaws -

true life instance No.1
me: khar chaloge?(dear sir would you be kind enough to take me to Khar...please??)
Rick 1: [bewildered expression] khar?(khar?!?)
me: ha khar (yes sir. you said it. Khar it is)
Rick 1: [ruminates...masticates...] Khar mein kaha janeka? (where in Khar do you wanna go?)
me: Khar west...S.V.Road
Rick 1: [frown on face] S.V.Road??? (is it in bombay????)
me: haan S.V.Road. (yes sir!!! you are scintillating today. correct...S. bloody V.Road)
Rick 1: highway se nikalneka? (do you want me to take the highway?)
me: nahin...linking road se (no sir. I would be infinitely obliged to you if you would kindly take the linking road)
Rick 1: time kya hua? (what is the time?)
me: [bewildered expression] eh? 12.30!
Rick 1: night charge lagega (will have to charge you the night charge)
me: abey din ka 12.30 baja...(Ha Ha...you crack me up...its 12.30 in the afternoon)
Rick 1: nahin...nahin janeka (bugger off...I shall not be moved from my resting place)
me: toh itna lamba interview kyon liya???
Rick 1: #^^@^#
me: $&@#&)@#&@#@#*%**&^^*(&(&)&()*()*)*)*(*)

true life instance No.2
Rick 2: kahan janeka saab? (where do you want to go sir?)
me: kahin nahin...road cross karneka hai (nowhere...I want to cross the road)
Rick 2: achcha...chalo baitho (oh ok...sit, i'll drop you)
me: abey yeda ho gaya hai kya? (have you lost your senses???)
Rick 2: arrey saab sabere se bhada nahin mila...aadha bhada de dena (sir, havent done any business since morning...sit...you need pay only half the fare)
BEST Bus driver: ayyy umitabh bachpan...kya re hema malini baithi kya andar???rickshaaa lene ka toh le nahin to nikal... (dear sir, you are holding up traffic. Please hire the rickshaw if you need to or let it pass so we may be on our way and everyone is happy as ever)
me: oi kishore kumar...awaaj band kar...ye yeda mereko road cross karne nahin de ra...tereko jaane ka to jaa iske upar se...(ah! I apologise for the inconvenience my dear public servant. I shall correct it as soon as I can.)
BEST Bus conductor: abey hero chal nikal nahin to bus chadata main (oh very good sir! we shall await developments. hope they are conducive for us to resume our onward journey)
me: abey Rajnikanth...ghanti baja (very good. I shall do the needful old pal)
BB conductor: chya-aila, rajnikant kisko bola re...ghe re yala...(kill the bourgeous...long live socialism...atleast long live mob justice....)
me: ackkkk!!! huff pufff hufff {to myself: run forest!!!!}

Note: Some parts of the above reminiscences might be a tad polluted / fabricated, owing to a lengthy passage of time between the time of occurrence and that of publishing. Any loss of information in translation is entirely due to the literary shortcomings of the chronicler.